I'm going to be real honest in this post. Everyone has things about themselves we wish we could change or work on. I have three bad habits that I've trying to fix and I wanted to write them out and come up with some suggestions on how I can go about working on them. Like the title of this post says, I want to be the best me I can be and I'm willing to work on myself to get there.
1. Feeling ignored/hurt/left out when not included in conversations people are having around me
Reasons Why I feel this way & How I Can Work On This:
Having Asperger's Syndrome, I have a hard time picking up on social cues. This is one of the traits of having Asperger's. I try to do my best reading the situation around me but sometimes its very hard for me to do. My feeling ignored/left out/hurt when I'm not being included in conversations that people are having around me (by this I mean people I know, not strangers), stems back to my school years when I was constantly left out, ignored, and bullied by my classmates. Sometimes I see other people having conversations around me and I feel like they might be talking about me, leaving me out, etc. I know this is not the case 95% of the time and I try to remember that. I say to myself "just because you're not being included in the conversation, doesn't mean they are talking about you." I think recognizing that this stems from my school age years is the first step in working out my feelings and helping me realize that just because I'm not involved in a conversation, doesn't mean that the people having the conversation are talking about me. More often than not, the conversation probably has nothing to do with me. I just need to keep reminding myself of this when/if it's happening.
2. Interrupting While People Are Talking
Reasons Why & How I Can Work On This:
Sometimes in the middle of a conversation with other people or in a group, I interrupt. I don't like doing this and I want to break this bad and annoying habit as soon as possible. I don't like being interrupted and I know other people don't like being interrupted either. Sometimes I find myself thinking of something relating to the conversation happening while the other person is talking because what they said sparks/jogs something in my mind and that is when I interrupt. When this happens, a lot of the times, if I don't say it right when I think it, I forget about it and then don't remember it when it's my turn/chance to talk, so I interrupt the conversation in order to say it before I forget it. Another bad habit relating to this, is that most of the time, I don't realize I'm interrupting, which is a really, really, really bad habit and another one I'm trying to break. I need to learn to wait until the other person/people are done talking before I say something. If I don't remember what it is I wanted to say, then it probably wasn't really important/memorable to begin with. I think another way I can work on this, besides trying to be more mindful of the situation, is by trying to be a even better listener and really focus more on the conversation that the person and I or the group is having. I'm not saying that while the person/people is talking, that I'm not listening to them, I just think I could listen even better by focusing my attention more on the conversation instead of trying to remember any little thought/idea/memory/etc. relating to the conversation that pops into my head.
3. Biting My Nails
Reasons Why & How I Can Work On This:
I have been biting my nails since I could chew, so this is a huge bad habit for me. I know it's an awful habit and I've tried so many times (too many to count) to break it. I've tried using that bitter stuff you put on your nails so that you won't want to bite them. It did not work for me at all. I've tried having acrylic nails put on but then after I get them taking off after a couple of weeks/months, I bite the nails that grew under them in a matter of days. I have so many pretty nail polishes that I want to use and I have a board on Pinterest with hundreds of fun and amazing nail design ideas that I want to have done but I can't because my nails are either non-existenent and I can never stop bitting long enough for them to grow big enough for someone at a salon to do the designs for me. I think the two biggest ways I can try and break this habit are by 1) doing something else when I get the urge to bite my nails and 2) keeping chewy candy and gum on hand to chew when I get the urge to bite my nails.
What are your bad habits or things about yourself that you want to work on and change? I would love to hear your thoughts & opinions. My blog is a drama free & judge free zone, so whatever you want to say, I'm all ears.